

Drink Business Life Apron: That's What I Do I Drink Rum Text
Drink business life apron - White distressed text reading That's What I Do I Drink Rum And I Know Things with swirls
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Drink Business Life Apron: That's What I Do I Drink Rum Text is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
The phrase "drink business life apron" introduces a black bib apron featuring white text that reads "THAT'S WHAT I DO, I DRINK RUM AND I KNOW THINGS". The design uses a distressed font and stacked layout to deliver sarcasm about rum consumption. Wearing it signals a specific sense of humor to fellow enthusiasts. This product was made for people who appreciate bold, typographic statements on their kitchen gear.
Looking At The Front Panel
Five lines of white text dominate the center of the panel, reading exactly "THAT'S WHAT I DO, I DRINK RUM AND I KNOW THINGS". Each character features a distressed finish that mimics wear and age, adding visual texture to the sharp serif typeface. Decorative swirls are placed above the first line and below the last line to frame the message symmetrically. The layout is strictly vertical, ensuring the statement is legible from a distance across any room. This arrangement transforms a simple declaration into a structured piece of graphic art that stands out against the solid black background.
Who Gets The Joke
Home bartenders and rum lovers notice the specific spirit mentioned in the white lettering immediately. A "drink business life apron" like this makes an excellent gift for someone who treats their cocktail hour with serious dedication but lacks pretension. It fits perfectly into everyday situations where cooking or mixing drinks happens alongside a relaxed, humorous attitude toward personal habits. The sarcasm lands best with friends who understand the cultural reference behind the claim of knowing things.
Answers Up Front
Does the neck strap adjust to different heights? Yes, the neck strap adjusts to accommodate various body types, ranging from 20 to 30 inches in length. This specific measurement range ensures the apron sits comfortably at the chest level for both shorter and taller wearers without slipping or pulling. The adjustability allows for a secure fit regardless of the user's stature, making the generous cut functional for diverse adult sizes.
Can I wash this apron without ruining the print? You can machine wash this item using cold water and tumble dry on low heat to preserve the ink integrity. The distressed white print is designed to withstand regular cleaning cycles without fading or cracking significantly. Avoid using harsh bleaches or high-heat drying, as these extreme conditions could degrade the fabric or damage the textured lettering over time.
Why does this design reference a specific TV show? The phrase references a popular fantasy series where a character claims to drink wine and know things, here adapted specifically for rum. The humor comes from replacing the original beverage with rum while keeping the authoritative tone of the quote. This specific textual substitution creates a parody that resonates only with those familiar with the source material's delivery style.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
Questions about Rum aprons
- Who is this collection best suited for?
- This collection is ideal for bartenders, home mixologists, and party hosts who enjoy rum-based drinks. It suits anyone who appreciates nautical themes, tropical aesthetics, or humorous takes on drinking culture. The designs appeal to those who want to add personality to their kitchen or bar setup while protecting their clothes during active use.
- What specific designs are included here?
- You will find prints like the instant pirate vibes apron, drink business life apron, caribbean sparrows sparrow apron, rum little reasons apron, might themed apron, beach rum apron, drum bass apron, and help rum apron. Each design focuses on a unique aspect of rum culture, from piracy references to beach relaxation and musical beats.
- How should I choose the right design?
- Select a design based on your personal style and the occasion. Choose the pirate vibe for adventurous parties, the beach print for summer events, or the business life apron for professional settings. Consider whether you prefer text-based humor or graphic illustrations when picking the piece that best reflects your identity and taste.
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