

Cannot Chicken
Cannot chicken with apron - Cartoon rooster two thumbs up red yellow sun I LIKE BIG COCKS text
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Cannot Chicken is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
The phrase 'cannot chicken with apron' puts the printed words 'I LIKE BIG COCKS, AND I CANNOT LIE...' across the front panel, and the text lands as a pun referring to male chickens. A cartoon rooster gives two thumbs up above the slogan, and wearing it signals to fellow poultry keepers that you appreciate farmyard sarcasm. People who raise roosters or buy gifts for them feel this was made specifically for their sense of humor.
What You Are Looking At
A cartoon rooster stands centered on the panel, displaying white feathers, a red comb, and a yellow beak against a circular red and yellow sun background. The bird extends both wings outward to form two distinct thumbs-up gestures pointing upward. Two lines of text appear below the character, reading 'I LIKE BIG COCKS' in large block letters followed by 'AND I CANNOT LIE...' in smaller type. The colors red, yellow, white, and black define the entire composition without shading or gradients. This layout combines the visual of a happy rooster with a textual pun about male poultry to create a cohesive farm-themed image.
The Right Person For It
Chicken farmers and backyard flock owners notice the specific reference to male birds immediately. This product makes a perfect sarcastic gift for birthdays, anniversaries, or Christmas for anyone who works with roosters. It gets worn daily in kitchens or barns by people who enjoy animal-related humor and want to show off their dedication to poultry keeping.
Details Worth Asking About
What are the measurements for the waist ties? The waist ties measure 42 inches on each side, providing ample length to tie securely in the front. This specific dimension ensures the apron fits various body sizes comfortably without slipping. The extra length allows for multiple knotting options to keep the garment stable during use.
How does the ink hold up during washing? The printed design is durable enough to withstand regular laundering without fading or cracking. The bold red, yellow, white, and black colors remain vibrant through repeated wash cycles. This durability ensures the pun and the rooster illustration stay clear over time.
Does the design reference human pop culture or just animals? The design references only male chickens and agricultural life, not human celebrities or songs. The word 'Cocks' strictly applies to roosters and cockerels in this context. This distinction keeps the humor grounded in farming realities rather than adult novelty.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
Questions about Lady Chicken aprons
- Which design best represents serious poultry keeping?
- The professional chicken with apron design is ideal for those who view their hobby as a dedicated craft. It features clean lines and respectful imagery that honors the skill involved in managing a healthy flock. This choice stands out among the more playful options by focusing on dignity and expertise rather than comedy.
- Are these designs suitable for complete beginners?
- Yes, the cute chicken with apron and funny chicken with apron styles are welcoming to newcomers. They use lighthearted graphics that acknowledge the learning curve without judgment. These choices help beginners feel part of the community while they master the basics of coop maintenance and bird care.
- How do I choose between the humor-focused options?
- Select the funny farmer chicken with apron if you enjoy traditional rural jokes. Choose the run chicken with apron for designs highlighting active, energetic scenes. Consider the fluent chicken with apron for artistic takes on bird behavior. Each offers a distinct tone to match your personal sense of humor regarding farm life.
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