

Chance Source Apron Featuring White Stacked Typography
Chance source apron - White stacked text saying THERE'S A 99%, CHANCE I DON'T, CARE
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Chance Source Apron Featuring White Stacked Typography is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
A chance source apron puts the phrase THERE'S A 99%, CHANCE I DON'T, CARE across the front panel, and the stacked white lettering lands as a sharp declaration of apathy. Wearing it signals a firm boundary against unnecessary drama, and colleagues who appreciate dry humor and quiet professionalism will feel this was made specifically for them.
What You Are Looking At
This design focuses exclusively on typography arranged in four distinct lines of white text. The layout stacks the words vertically to maximize visibility and create a solid block of communication. The font style is clean and sans-serif, ensuring the message remains legible from a distance. The humor operates through sarcasm, using a mathematical probability to validate a subjective feeling of indifference. Together, the stark color contrast and the specific phrasing create a cohesive image that rejects engagement without being verbally aggressive.
The Right Person For It
Individuals in service industries or creative trades notice the immediate defensive utility of this statement. Gifting this item acknowledges a friend's need to protect their mental space during busy shifts. It gets worn in situations where the wearer needs to remain polite but distant, such as handling difficult customers or managing noisy coworkers. The chance source apron becomes a tool for social filtering, allowing the user to focus on their tasks while the text handles the rejection of small talk.
Details Worth Asking About
What are the specific dimensions of the apron body and waist ties? The body measures 28 inches wide by 34 inches long to provide substantial torso coverage. Each waist tie extends 42 inches, which is long enough to wrap around the hips and tie securely in the front. These measurements ensure the apron stays in place during active movement and accommodates various body sizes without slipping.
How does the white ink withstand washing without fading or peeling? The white print is applied using durable methods designed to resist the rigors of frequent laundering. High-quality ink bonds with the fabric surface to prevent chipping or flaking when exposed to water and detergent. This durability ensures the sharp edges of the typography remain crisp and the contrast stays bright throughout the garment's lifespan.
Why is this specific percentage chosen over other numbers like 100%? The selection of 99% instead of 100% introduces a nuance of scientific accuracy to the joke. It implies that there is a tiny, almost negligible margin for error, suggesting the apathy is a calculated stance rather than an absolute void. This specific detail elevates the humor from a simple insult to a more sophisticated observation about human emotion.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
Questions about Care aprons
- Who benefits most from these aprons?
- These aprons suit caregivers, parents, and healthcare workers who appreciate humor in their daily routines. They are ideal for anyone who deals with chaos and wants to express it through witty, relatable designs on their clothing.
- What themes are included?
- The collection includes designs referencing pop culture, sports teams like the Phillies, and everyday scenarios like messy hair. Each piece tells a story about the specific challenges and joys of caring for others with a touch of irony.
- How to choose a design?
- Pick based on your personal humor or interests. Choose the grumpy one if you feel frustrated often, or the angelica rainbow for positivity. Consider your hobbies or favorite characters to find the perfect match for your personality.
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