

Double Joke Apron Featuring a Cartoon Brown Double Bass
Double joke apron - Brown cartoon double bass next to white stacked text reading It's no freakin' cello!
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Double Joke Apron Featuring a Cartoon Brown Double Bass is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
A double joke apron puts a cartoon brown double bass across the front panel, and the white stacked text reads It's no freakin' cello! to correct the common confusion between string instruments. Wearing it signals to fellow musicians that you know the difference between an upright bass and a cello, and orchestra members or jazz bassists feel it was made specifically for their inside jokes.
The Print, Up Close
The artwork features a brown double bass rendered in a cartoon style standing vertically on the left side of the panel. White script lettering stacks to the right of the instrument body, spelling out the phrase It's no freakin' cello! in a casual, handwritten font. The design relies solely on brown and white colors to create a high-contrast visual that separates the instrument from the background. This specific combination of a large upright bass illustration with corrective text targets the shared experience of bassists correcting others about their instrument. The layout balances the tall vertical shape of the woodwind against the horizontal flow of the stacked words, creating a cohesive graphic that functions as both art and assertion.
Made For This Crowd
Orchestra members and jazz bassists notice the specific distinction between their instrument and the cello immediately. A double joke apron makes a perfect gift for music students or rehearsal groups who share this particular frustration. Everyday wear at concerts or practice sessions turns the garment into a conversation starter about instrument identification.
Before You Add To Cart
What are the pocket dimensions? Each front pocket measures 8 x 7 inches and is split in the middle to accommodate the central seam. This generous sizing allows you to hold utensils or ingredients securely without them falling through the gap, ensuring functionality matches the musical humor.
How does the ink hold up? The print adheres to 10 oz cotton canvas which starts stiff but softens after 2-3 washes. The fabric density ensures the white lettering remains crisp and the brown illustration stays vibrant through repeated laundering without cracking or peeling.
Why is this specific design unique? The design explicitly rejects the cello label through the printed phrase It's no freakin' cello! rather than just showing an instrument. This textual correction is the defining feature that separates it from generic bass imagery, making it a targeted statement for those tired of the mix-up.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
Questions about Double Bass aprons
- Who is this collection best suited for?
- This line suits professional orchestral players, music teachers, and serious hobbyists who play or admire the contrabass. It works well for concert hall staff, band directors, and anyone who wants to express their dedication to the lowest strings in a subtle yet recognizable way during rehearsals or performances.
- What specific designs are included here?
- We offer varied themes like the vitruvian double apron featuring artistic proportions, the cello double apron emphasizing instrument similarity, and the player double apron designed for active use. The set also includes the patent double apron for formal occasions and the violin double apron for those who enjoy visual contrasts within the string family.
- How do I choose the right design?
- Select based on your role and style preferences. Choose the player double apron if you need practical coverage during active playing sessions. Opt for the vitruvian or patent designs if you prefer artistic or formal aesthetics. Consider the cello double apron if you want to highlight the shared heritage of large string instruments in your wardrobe.
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