

Excuse Flying Apron FSM Pastafarian Satire Design Featuring
Excuse flying apron - Cartoon FSM in red bowl with yellow text Excuse Me Do You Have A Moment To Talk About Our Lord
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Excuse Flying Apron FSM Pastafarian Satire Design Featuring is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
The phrase excuse flying apron appears prominently at the top of the front panel, introducing a design that combines typography with cartoon imagery. The text EXCUSE ME DO YOU HAVE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT OUR LORD AND SAVIOR FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER splits into two blocks, one positioned above and one below a red bowl containing the monster. The illustration features yellow pasta strands with stalked eyes and brown meatballs topped with red sauce, rendered in a distinct cartoon style. Wearing this garment allows the user to display their affinity for satirical belief systems with visual clarity. People who follow pastafarianism or enjoy ironic commentary on organized religion will recognize this specific layout immediately.
What Is Printed On It
The central focus is a red bowl holding a serving of spaghetti that has been anthropomorphized with two large, stalked eyes protruding from the noodles. The text is divided into two sections using yellow lettering; the upper block asks for a moment to talk, while the lower block identifies the subject as the Lord and Savior Flying Spaghetti Monster. Red sauce dots the brown meatballs within the bowl, adding contrast to the yellow pasta. This layout creates a balanced composition where the textual message frames the visual representation of the deity. The entire scene utilizes a limited palette of yellow, red, and brown to maintain visual consistency across the print.
Who Reaches For This One
Pastafarians and supporters of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster often select this item to express their specific philosophical stance. Givers frequently choose this product for friends who appreciate dark humor or religious parody. It is worn in everyday kitchen situations where the wearer wants to signal a sense of irony while cooking. The design targets individuals who find traditional culinary apparel too serious and prefer something that reflects a niche intellectual humor.
Questions Before You Order
What are the measurements of this apron? It measures 28 inches wide by 34 inches long with 42-inch waist ties on each side. These dimensions provide substantial coverage for the torso and ensure the ties are long enough to secure comfortably regardless of waist size. The generous width prevents splatters from reaching clothing underneath during active meal preparation.
Does the ink withstand washing? Yes, the graphic is engineered to endure repeated laundering without fading or cracking. The print maintains its sharp edges and color vibrancy through standard wash cycles, ensuring the satirical message survives regular kitchen use and cleaning routines over time.
Why choose this specific FSM design? It features the exact phrase "Lord and Savior Flying Spaghetti Monster" arranged around a cartoon bowl. No other apron replicates this specific textual layout combined with the unique eye-stalked pasta illustration found in this print.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
Questions about Spaghetti aprons
- Who is the best audience for these themed bibs?
- These aprons suit anyone who loves Italian cuisine and appreciates quirky, narrative-driven art. They are made for home cooks who enjoy making their kitchen time more entertaining and expressive through wearable humor and distinctive visual storytelling on every garment.
- What specific characters appear in this lineup?
- The collection features various anthropomorphic and cultural figures interacting with noodles. You will encounter versions inspired by classic cinema romances, flying pasta scenarios, and philosophical statements, all centered around the universal love for spaghetti and its unpredictable behavior during meal preparation.
- How do I choose the right design for my style?
- Select based on your preferred mood, whether it is romantic, humorous, or absurd. Consider if you want to reference classic films like Lady and the Tramp or prefer something more abstract like the flying spaghetti motif. Each design tells a different story about your relationship with food.
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