Writer
Fact Writer Apron Featuring a Sarcasm Nutrition Label
Fact writer apron - White typography nutrition label reading WRITER Facts with 120% Insanity and 0% Writer's Block
US$19.95
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
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US$19.95
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Fact Writer Apron Featuring a Sarcasm Nutrition Label is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
fact writer apron puts the phrase WRITER Facts across the front panel, formatted as a nutrition label to list the ingredients of a creative life. The text specifies a Serving Size of 1 Storyteller and quantifies traits like 100% Imagination, 120% Insanity, and 0% Writer's Block Tolerance. Wearing it communicates to fellow authors that you possess the necessary passion and commitment, and editors who survive on caffeine will feel this design was made specifically for them.
The Print, Up Close
This fact writer apron displays a rectangular frame of stacked white text that mimics a standard food label. The header reads WRITER Facts above a line declaring the Serving Size as 1 Storyteller. The body lists percentages for Bravery, Courage, and Fearlessness alongside physical measurements like 200g Commitment and 95g Blood. The bottom footnote adds that daily values vary depending on internet access and caffeine intake, completing the sarcastic portrait of a modern writer.
Made For This Crowd
Writers and editors notice the specific metrics of Insanity and Tears first because they relate to the daily grind. This fact writer apron makes a great gift for friends or family members who work in publishing or write autobiographies. It gets worn in kitchens and home offices where the wearer wants to display their dedication to storytelling without taking themselves too seriously.
Before You Add To Cart
What are the dimensions of the waist ties? The waist ties measure 42 inches on each side, providing extra length to tie securely in front. This generous measurement ensures the apron stays fastened comfortably over bulky layers or clothing without being too short or restrictive during movement. How should I wash the ink design? The white typography is durable and designed to withstand washing, maintaining its contrast against the background. Follow standard care instructions to preserve the sharp edges of the text and prevent the ink from fading or cracking after multiple cycles. Does the design reference a specific type of writer? The design applies to all creators, not just one genre, by listing universal traits like Passion and Total Satisfaction. The inclusion of a footnote about internet access makes it relevant to digital authors and researchers who rely on connectivity for their work alongside traditional pen-and-ink methods.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
Questions about Writer aprons
- Who is this collection best suited for?
- This collection is designed for writers of all types, including novelists, poets, journalists, and editors. It suits professionals who take pride in their craft and want to display their literary identity through wearable art that reflects their specific genre or role.
- What designs are included in this set?
- The set features diverse themes like the typewriter author apron, write sarcastic apron, and edgar ravens apron. Other options include the book publisher apron, fact writer apron, poet badass apron, future selling apron, and author wife apron, covering various aspects of the writing profession.
- How do I choose the right design?
- Select based on your primary writing style or favorite literary reference. Choose the typewriter author apron for classic vibes, or the write sarcastic apron for modern wit. Consider if you prefer poetry, journalism, or publishing themes when picking your preferred aesthetic from the available options.
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