Bearded
Measurement Beard Apron Featuring a Vertical White
Measurement beard apron - Vertical white distressed text reading BEARD CHART next to a scale listing beard types
US$19.95
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
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US$19.95
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Measurement Beard Apron Featuring a Vertical White is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
measurement beard apron puts the phrase BEARD CHART across the front panel in vertical white distressed lettering alongside a tick-mark scale. The labels range from Cave Man to ZZ Top, ranking beard lengths by archetype rather than inches. Wearing it signals you take facial hair seriously while acknowledging the fun side of growth. This design appeals to men who track their stubble journey and enjoy comparing themselves to fictional or historical figures.
What The Print Says
The print displays a vertical measurement scale printed in white with a distressed texture that mimics worn signage. The title BEARD CHART runs vertically along the left edge, anchoring the layout. A series of horizontal tick marks extends to the right, each paired with a specific label including Santa Claus, God, and Kung Fu Master. These terms represent humorous benchmarks for beard length, moving from short styles like Dude to mythical extremes like Bigfoot. The design relies entirely on typography and spacing to convey its message without additional illustrations or colors.
The Cook It Was Made For
This apron serves home cooks and grill masters who view beard care as part of their daily routine. It acts as a conversation starter during cookouts where friends compare growth stages over burgers. Gifting this measurement beard apron to a bearded man celebrates his dedication to facial hair maintenance. The waist ties allow it to sit securely over clothing while cooking, making it practical for messy kitchen tasks.
Ordering Questions
How wide is the body of this apron? The body measures 28 inches wide by 34 inches long, providing ample coverage for the torso. This dimension ensures the printed chart remains centered and visible regardless of the wearer's height or build during food preparation. Will the white distressed ink fade after washing? The print is designed to withstand regular laundering while maintaining its vintage aesthetic. Distressed fonts often mimic wear naturally, so minor fading blends into the intended style rather than appearing damaged. Does this chart measure actual physical length? No, the scale uses archetypes rather than inches or centimeters to rank beard growth. Labels like Professor and Lumberjack serve as cultural references for length rather than precise scientific measurements.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
Questions about Bearded aprons
- Who is this collection best suited for?
- This range suits reptile keepers, fathers with beards, and fans of humorous pop culture references. It works well for chefs, artists, or hobbyists who want to express their specific interest in bearded dragons or facial hair styles without wearing generic apparel.
- What types of designs are included?
- You will find artistic interpretations of pogona dragons, mythical beard monsters, and holiday-themed elves. The collection also includes ironic statements and tribute pieces for fathers, ensuring there is a visual narrative that matches your personal taste and sense of humor.
- How do I choose the right design?
- Select a design based on whether you prefer realistic reptile art, comedic takes on facial hair, or celebratory themes for family members. Consider if you want to highlight a pet species like the bearded dragon or takes in a broader cultural joke about beards.
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