

Member Age Old Apron Featuring Official Member Old Farts
Member age old apron - White text reading Official Member Old Farts Club with crown and pun about aches when it rains
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Member Age Old Apron Featuring Official Member Old Farts is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
member age old apron puts the phrase OFFICIAL MEMBER OLD FARTS CLUB across the front panel, and the words ALL ACHES AND PAINS, WHEN IT RAINS land as a pun on bad weather forecasts. Wearing it signals you belong to the senior set with humor, and friends celebrating a retirement or birthday will feel this was made for them.
Every Detail On The Front
This member age old apron features white typography arranged in a vertical stack on the chest. The top line arches over a simple crown icon to suggest official status. The central box displays the words OLD FARTS in large block letters between horizontal lines. Below this, the word Club appears in a script font before the final phrase arches along the bottom edge. The entire composition relies solely on text and a single geometric symbol rather than illustrations. This layout creates a badge-like appearance that centers the visual weight directly on the wearer's torso.
Built For These Hands
Home cooks and hobbyists notice the clear, legible lettering first thing. Gifting this member age old apron works perfectly for birthdays or retirements where the recipient enjoys self-deprecating humor. Everyday situations like meal prep or gardening become more fun when wearing this protective layer. The design turns a standard kitchen tool into a conversation piece that acknowledges age with a smile rather than embarrassment.
Practical Questions
What are the dimensions of the front pockets on this member age old apron? The two front pockets measure exactly 8 by 7 inches each. They are split in the middle to create separate compartments for holding tools or towels. This specific dimension provides ample space for essentials without adding excessive bulk to the lower section of the garment.
How does the white ink hold up during washing cycles? The white ink remains durable through standard laundering because it bonds with the heavy cotton canvas fabric. The print does not crack or peel easily since the material absorbs the dye well during the manufacturing process. You can wash this apron regularly without worrying about the message fading prematurely.
Does the typography layout include a specific symbol representing authority? Yes, a small crown sits directly beneath the upper arch of text. This single graphic element reinforces the concept of being an "official" member of the club mentioned in the slogan. It adds a touch of mock-regality to the otherwise straightforward typographic design.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
Questions about Club aprons
- Which designs best suit gaming communities?
- The eddie bullet hell apron and eddie master apron are made for gaming groups. They reference iconic titles and attract players who appreciate pixel art and arcade nostalgia. These pieces help members identify each other at conventions or local meetups focused on interactive entertainment.
- Are there options for supernatural TV fans?
- Yes, the charmed tv apron directly references the beloved series. It appeals to viewers who enjoy witchcraft themes and magical realism. This design allows fans to display their loyalty to the show during watch parties or themed dinners hosted by fan clubs.
- What makes these unique for club events?
- Each print tells a story specific to a subculture. From the weapon skull apron's dark imagery to the hellfire novelty apron's humor, they create instant talking point. Members can wear them to distinguish themselves from outsiders while bonding over shared passions in a relaxed setting.
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