

Murder Gardening Apron Featuring a Retro Green Print
Murder gardening apron - Retro green graphic of woman gardening with text Because Murder Is Wrong
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Murder Gardening Apron Featuring a Retro Green Print is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
murder gardening apron displays the phrase 'Gardening Because Murder is Wrong' in green ink. A retro woman tends to potted plants below an arched title, while stacked text clarifies that horticulture is a preferable alternative to violence. Wearing it signals dry humor to fellow plant enthusiasts, and gardeners who appreciate dark wit know this design targets them directly.
What The Print Says
A single shade of green renders a vintage scene where a smiling woman kneels to work among potted plants and gardening tools. The word 'Gardening' arches over her head in a thick, rounded script font typical of mid-century design. Below the illustration, the phrase 'BECAUSE MURDER IS WRONG' stacks in three lines of block lettering. This layout uses sarcasm to frame plant care as a moral substitute for violence, anchoring the retro aesthetic in a specific comedic argument.
The Cook It Was Made For
Florists and farmers notice the practical utility combined with the sharp wit immediately. This murder gardening apron serves as a perfect gift for a mom or sister who is obsessed with growing fruit and vegetables. She wears it daily in the garden or plant nursery when handling soil and watering cans, turning a standard work garment into a conversation piece that validates her specific hobby.
Ordering Questions
Does the apron have pockets and what are their dimensions? Yes, it features two front pockets that measure exactly 8 by 7 inches each. These compartments are split in the middle to allow long-handled tools like trowels or shears to slide in securely while keeping your hands free for other tasks.
Can I wash this apron without damaging the printed message? You can machine wash this item safely because the 10 oz cotton canvas fabric holds up well to laundering. The material stiffens at first but softens after two or three washes, ensuring the green print remains intact and legible through regular cleaning cycles.
Is the 'Because Murder Is Wrong' slogan specific to this item? This exact phrase appears only on this specific design alongside the retro gardening illustration. No other product carries this unique combination of vintage art style and the distinct textual punchline regarding the wrongness of murder versus the rightness of planting.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
Questions about Gardening aprons
- Who is the ideal buyer for these themed aprons?
- These aprons suit individuals who enjoy outdoor hobbies like growing vegetables, flowers, or raising backyard chickens. They are perfect gifts for parents, grandparents, or anyone who spends weekends in the yard nurturing living things.
- What makes this collection unique compared to generic options?
- Unlike plain workwear, these designs feature specific jokes and references tailored to plant lovers. From talking to foliage to managing chicken coops, each print reflects a distinct aspect of horticultural life rather than offering blank canvas appeal.
- How should I choose between the different design styles available?
- Select based on your primary hobby focus. Choose the chicken design if you raise poultry alongside plants. Pick the whisperer style if you enjoy anthropomorphizing your flora. Opt for the father theme if gifting to a dad who loves gardening.
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