Rowing
Nutrition Rowing Apron Featuring a Sarcastic Nutrition Facts
Nutrition rowing apron - Parody nutrition label with white text red border listing 100g Attitude 90g Sweat and 0% Mercy
US$19.95
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
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US$19.95
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Nutrition Rowing Apron Featuring a Sarcastic Nutrition Facts is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
nutrition rowing apron puts a parody nutrition label across the front panel, and the text reads as a sarcastic breakdown of athletic ingredients like 0% Mercy and 100g Attitude. Wearing it signals that you understand the brutal reality of the sport, and teammates who know the struggle will feel this was made specifically for them.
What You Are Looking At
A nutrition facts label printed in white text enclosed within a red rectangular border dominates the center of the garment. The design lists specific values including 100% Hustle, 85% Motivation, and 0% Excuses to mimic a food package. The bottom section measures Attitude at 100g and Sweat at 90g in a typographic style that replicates a standard ingredient list. This layout belongs to the rowing trade and uses visual satire to represent the physical demands of the sport.
The Right Person For It
Rowers and crew team members notice the specific listing of Tears and Blood first. Gifting this nutrition rowing apron works best for birthdays or end-of-season celebrations among athletes. It gets worn in the boat house or at the dock during heavy training sessions where its humor resonates with people who share the same grind.
Details Worth Asking About
What are the pocket dimensions on this apron? The two front pockets measure 8 by 7 inches each and are split in the middle. This specific dimension allows for ample storage of small tools or snacks while maintaining the structural integrity of the 10 oz cotton canvas material. How does the ink hold up against washing? The white ink remains durable because the fabric is 10 oz cotton canvas that softens after 2-3 washes. The sturdy weave prevents the print from cracking or peeling even when exposed to repeated cleaning cycles and water. Why is Tears listed in grams rather than percent? The design lists Tears as 85g to maintain the visual consistency of the weight-based measurements found in the lower section. This specific detail differentiates the emotional output from the percentage-based values like Motivation and Passion listed above.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
Questions about Rowing aprons
- Who should buy these rowing themed items?
- These items suit avid rowers, coaches, and crew supporters who want to display their passion for the sport. They are ideal for team gatherings, regattas, or casual wear after practice. Anyone who values the discipline and community of rowing will appreciate wearing these designs to show their affiliation with the water sport.
- What specific designs are available here?
- The collection includes various options such as the rowing american flag apron and the crossed crew apron. You can also find pieces highlighting boat parts or featuring team slogans. Each design captures different aspects of rowing culture, from patriotic themes to technical equipment representations, ensuring there is something for every type of enthusiast.
- How do I choose the right one?
- Select a design based on your personal connection to rowing. If you prefer team unity, choose the crossed crew style. For national pride, the american flag option works well. Consider whether you want to highlight technical knowledge or general enthusiasm. Think about where you will wear it most often to ensure the design matches your daily activities and social circles.
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