

Then Gun Apron Featuring Sarcastic White Typography
Then gun apron - White stacked text reading If Guns Kill People Then I Guess Pencils Misspell Words Cars Drive Drunk
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Then Gun Apron Featuring Sarcastic White Typography is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
then gun apron puts the phrase 'IF GUNS KILL PEOPLE THEN I GUESS' across the front panel, and the text reads as a sarcastic list of logical fallacies involving pencils, cars, and spoons. Wearing it signals a dry wit to anyone who appreciates wordplay, and home cooks who enjoy dark humor know this design was made for them.
What The Print Says
The print uses stacked white typography alongside three square icons arranged vertically in the center. A vertical line of text on the left anchors the layout, while the central column features a pencil, a car, and a spoon inside white squares. The lettering is bold and distressed, creating a stark contrast against the background. This arrangement transforms a political argument into a humorous syllogism about everyday objects. The combination of text and simple iconography creates a cohesive typographic statement rather than a cluttered illustration.
The Cook It Was Made For
This then gun apron appeals to cooks who value sarcasm over sentimentality during meal prep. It serves as a conversation starter at family gatherings or kitchen parties where banter flows freely. The design fits the casual environment of a home kitchen where serious political debates are best replaced by lighthearted mockery of logic errors.
Ordering Questions
Is the waist tie long enough to secure a large apron size? Yes, each side measures 42 inches, providing ample length to tie securely in the front regardless of body width. This generous measurement ensures the apron stays in place even when moving around a busy kitchen without slipping or pulling tight against the waist. Will the white ink withstand repeated washing cycles without fading? The print uses durable ink that resists peeling and cracking, maintaining the sharp edges of the typography through standard laundering. The white squares retain their opacity and the text remains legible after multiple washes, ensuring the joke survives the cleaning process just as well as the fabric does. Does the design include specific icons for each absurd statement? Yes, three white squares contain distinct illustrations of a pencil, a car, and a spoon corresponding directly to the text next to them. These visual cues break up the dense block of text and guide the eye down the center of the apron in a structured vertical alignment.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
Questions about Pencil aprons
- Who is this collection best suited for?
- This collection is ideal for teachers, students, and artists who enjoy vintage-inspired designs. Those who appreciate nostalgic themes from the seventies and eighties will find these aprons resonate with their personal style. The variety ensures everyone finds a print that matches their professional or hobbyist identity.
- What specific designs are included?
- We offer diverse prints including the sketchy pretty apron and cassette 70s apron. You can choose the rewind 80s apron or the colorful teacher apron. Options also include the squarepant simple apron, checkered teacher apron, tape 70s apron, and pencil 80s apron for varied aesthetic preferences.
- How do I pick the right one?
- Select based on your favorite era or artistic preference. If you love music history, try the cassette 70s apron. For minimalists, the squarepant simple apron works well. Educators often prefer the colorful teacher apron. Consider which visual language best reflects your daily environment and personal taste when choosing your perfect match.
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