

Totally Bed Sloth Apron Featuring a Cartoon Brown Sloth
Totally bed sloth apron - Brown cartoon sloth sitting with white text above and below reading not to brag but i totally
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Totally Bed Sloth Apron Featuring a Cartoon Brown Sloth is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
totally bed sloth apron puts the phrase NOT TO BRAG BUT I TOTALLY GOT OUT OF BED TODAY across the front panel, and the words read as a wholesome celebration of basic human function. Wearing it signals a shared understanding of low-energy days, and home cooks who find joy in minimal effort feel it was made for them.
Looking At The Front Panel
A brown cartoon sloth sits centered on the white background with one arm raised high in a gesture of victory. Two lines of white text appear directly above the character while two additional lines sit below the feet. The lettering uses a casual, hand-drawn style that matches the friendly expression of the animal. This layout creates a balanced composition where the text acts as a frame for the central figure. The combination of the specific pose and the literal wording transforms a simple statement into a visual punchline about morning productivity.
Who Gets The Joke
Home cooks and remote workers notice the sentiment immediately because it validates their own reluctance to start the day. Gifting this item works best for birthdays or holidays when you want to acknowledge a loved one's chill personality without being mean. You wear it during weekend breakfasts or weekday coffee runs when your only goal is to remain upright. The design turns a mundane survival skill into a point of pride for the wearer.
Answers Up Front
Does this apron have pockets and how big are they? Yes, there are two front pockets measuring 8 by 7 inches each. They are split in the middle to allow easy access and provide ample space for holding phones or utensils while keeping your hands free for mixing. This practical feature ensures you can store small items securely without needing extra accessories.
How does the fabric hold up after repeated washing cycles? The 10 oz cotton canvas material softens significantly after two or three washes. Initially stiff, it breaks down into a comfortable wear that resists heavy stains and tears. This durability makes it suitable for daily use in busy kitchens where frequent laundering is necessary to maintain hygiene standards.
Is the printed design durable against kitchen heat and steam? The ink remains intact because the design relies on solid white shapes rather than delicate gradients that might fade. The cartoon aesthetic uses bold outlines that withstand the humidity of a steaming stove. Unlike fine art prints, this rugged visual style is specifically suited for the harsh environment of food preparation.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
Questions about Sloth aprons
- Who should buy these aprons?
- These are ideal for people who enjoy a relaxed lifestyle and want to add humor to their kitchen. If you identify as someone who takes life slowly and appreciates cute animal imagery, this collection matches your personality perfectly.
- What makes these designs unique?
- Each design highlights different aspects of sloth behavior, from sleeping in trees to enjoying sunsets. The variety allows you to pick a specific mood, such as superhero power or peaceful meditation, ensuring the apron reflects your personal sense of humor and aesthetic preference.
- How do I choose the right one?
- Consider your current mood or favorite activity. Choose the bed sloth if you love naps, or the superhero version for fun energy. Matching the design to your preferred style of relaxation ensures you feel comfortable and connected to the artwork while wearing it during your kitchen activities.
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