

Today Gothic Apron Featuring a Cartoon Goat Head
Today gothic apron - Tan goat head over red pentagram with arching text and four red rose clusters
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Today Gothic Apron Featuring a Cartoon Goat Head is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
today gothic apron displays the phrase NOT TODAY JESUS in arched lettering above a tan goat head centered over a red pentagram. The text reads as a sarcastic refusal of divine intervention or religious pressure for the day. Wearing it signals a preference for dark humor and alternative aesthetics while cooking or working. It was made for occult art fans, goths, and collectors who appreciate Baphomet imagery and satanic themes.
Inside The Artwork
A tan goat head sits directly over a red pentagram enclosed within a black and white circular border. Cream-colored text arches above and below the central image, creating a frame around the horned figure. Four red roses cluster in the corners, adding floral contrast to the geometric lines. This arrangement places the horned character at the focal point of the design, balancing the sharp angles of the star with the organic curves of the petals and horns.
Who It Speaks To
Goths and occult art fans notice the specific combination of Baphomet imagery and floral elements first. This today gothic apron serves as a perfect gifting occasion for collectors of dark humor who prefer irony over traditional reverence. It gets worn in real situations like Halloween parties, alternative gatherings, or casual kitchen work where the wearer wants to communicate their aesthetic without speaking.
Quick Answers
What are the measurements of the waist ties and body size? The waist ties measure 42 inches on each side, providing extra length to tie securely in front regardless of torso size. The body size is 28 inches wide by 34 inches long, ensuring sufficient coverage for most users during food preparation or messy projects.
How does the ink hold up during washing and wear? The print uses durable methods that withstand repeated laundering without fading the red tones or cracking the cream lettering. The cartoon style relies on solid blocks of color rather than fine gradients, which helps maintain the integrity of the goat head and pentagram details through multiple wash cycles.
Why is this specific design distinct from standard occult apparel? Unlike generic skull designs, this piece integrates specific textual sarcasm with a detailed horned figure and symmetrical rose placement. The inclusion of the exact phrase NOT TODAY JESUS transforms it from simple decoration into a communicative statement of attitude that defines its unique identity within the gothic genre.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
Questions about Today aprons
- Who is this collection best suited for?
- This collection is ideal for individuals who enjoy expressing their sense of humor through their attire. It works well for fans of memes, pop culture references, and fictional characters who want to add a detail to their kitchen activities without being overly loud or aggressive in their style choices.
- What types of designs are included here?
- You will find a variety of themes ranging from religious parody like Jesus Not Today to sitcom references such as Peter Not Today. There are also absurdist jokes like the Pooped Gag series and fantasy elements in the Unlock Magic design, ensuring there is something for almost every type of humor lover.
- How do I choose the right one?
- Consider which character or meme resonates most with your personal taste. If you love family sitcoms, the Peter design might be perfect. For those who appreciate darker or more abstract humor, the Satan Meme or Pooped Gag options could be better fits based on your preferred comedic style.
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