
Spare Theme Aprons Things I Do
US$19.95
Printed to order in the USA · Flat US$4.95 US shipping, free over US$65.00

Trading things spare apron - Distressed text reading THINGS I DO IN MY SPARE TIME above six green and red crypto chart
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Trading Things Spare Apron Featuring Distressed White is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
trading things spare apron puts the exact phrase THINGS I DO IN MY SPARE TIME across the top panel in distressed white block letters. The remaining text lists activities such as checking my portfolio, thinking about crypto, talking about crypto, buying crypto, reading about crypto, and dreaming about crypto. This landing as a sarcastic admission that the wearer has no actual leisure time outside of financial speculation. Wearing it protects clothing while signaling to fellow traders that you share their obsession, and dedicated investors who track charts constantly will feel this was crafted specifically for them.
The artwork centers on a grey field topped by a large white banner containing the main title in a weathered font. Beneath the header, six small graphic icons are arranged in a strict 2x3 grid, each accompanied by a short caption in white sans-serif type. The icons depict stylized bar charts using only green and red vertical bars to represent market movement. One icon shows a thought bubble containing a rising green chart, while another displays a speech bubble with similar data. A third icon features dollar signs hovering over red and green bars, and the bottom right corner shows a chart with Zzz symbols indicating sleep. This combination of distressed typography and color-coded financial data creates a cohesive visual statement about digital asset obsession.
Home chefs who trade stocks notice the specific chart icons immediately upon seeing this item. Gifting this trading things spare apron to a husband or boyfriend who spends his evenings analyzing blockchain technology makes a humorous yet accurate present for his birthday or holidays. In everyday kitchen situations, the wearer uses this garment when preparing meals for family members who might question why they are staring at phone screens instead of helping with dinner prep.
What are the dimensions of the front pockets on this apron? The front pockets measure exactly 8 x 7 inches each, providing ample space for holding phones or utensils. They are positioned low on the bib and split vertically in the middle to allow easy access from either side without removing the garment.
How does the ink hold up against repeated washing cycles? The printed graphics remain durable because the 10 oz cotton canvas fabric stabilizes the ink once the material softens after two or three washes. The distressed aesthetic actually helps hide minor wear, ensuring the design maintains its intended vintage look throughout the apron's lifespan.
Does the design include specific financial symbols or just generic charts? The artwork uses only generic bar charts and abstract shapes rather than recognizable corporate logos or specific coin symbols. This allows the design to represent the broader concept of cryptocurrency investing without infringing on trademarks or referencing unlicensed brands.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
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