Scotch
Drink Scotch Apron: That's What I Do I Drink Scotch
Drink scotch apron - Tan stacked text reading That's What I Do I Drink Scotch And I Know Things with a small scotch
US$19.95
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
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US$19.95
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Drink Scotch Apron: That's What I Do I Drink Scotch is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
The phrase "drink scotch apron" introduces a design featuring the text "THAT'S WHAT I DO, I DRINK, SCOTCH, AND I KNOW, THINGS". The print uses sarcasm to suggest that drinking scotch is the source of one's wisdom. Wearing this puts a confident, humorous persona across the front panel, and it appeals directly to whiskey enthusiasts who enjoy playing up their knowledge about spirits.
What The Print Says
This drink scotch apron presents a typography-only layout where tan lettering stacks centrally on the black fabric. A small glass of scotch with an ice cube is positioned between the third and fourth lines of text, flanked by two horizontal lines. The specific font style mimics the iconic logo of a popular television series, adding immediate cultural context to the words. The juxtaposition of the serif typeface with the minimalist glass icon creates a cohesive visual pun. This combination results in a witty statement that belongs to fans of both the show and the spirit.
The Cook It Was Made For
This drink scotch apron suits home cooks who also appreciate nightlife or bar trivia. It serves as a perfect gift for birthdays or bachelor parties for anyone who treats scotch tasting seriously. The generous cut accommodates movement in the kitchen while displaying the sarcastic message clearly to guests and fellow diners.
Ordering Questions
What are the dimensions of the neck strap? The adjustable neck strap measures between 20 and 30 inches to ensure a secure fit for most adults. This range allows the black bib apron to sit comfortably regardless of the wearer's height or build without slipping off the shoulders during food preparation.
Does the ink withstand washing? The printed design holds up through regular cleaning because the ink bonds permanently to the fabric surface. You can wash this product to maintain its appearance without the tan lettering fading or peeling away from the black material after multiple cycles.
Is the glass illustration part of the text? The small glass of scotch with an ice cube is a separate graphic element positioned between the text lines. It acts as a visual anchor for the slogan rather than being a word itself, completing the typography-only composition with a tangible symbol of the drink mentioned above.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
Questions about Scotch aprons
- Who is the ideal buyer for these designs?
- These aprons suit individuals who have a deep appreciation for Scotch whisky, particularly those who enjoy single malts and peaty flavors. They are ideal for distillery tours, home bars, or kitchen use where showing off your hobby is part of the fun and talking point.
- What themes are represented in this set?
- The set includes designs focusing on malt varieties, tartan patterns, and familial roles like the father theme. Each piece highlights different aspects of Scotch culture, from the liquid itself to the social rituals surrounding its consumption, ensuring there is a style for every type of enthusiast.
- How do I choose the right one?
- Select based on whether you prefer text-based humor like the drink malt apron or pattern-focused designs like the shamrock tartan. Consider if you want to highlight your role, such as the father malt option, or simply celebrate the general love for Scotch with broader thematic elements found in the rock scotch design.
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