
Flock Chicken
US$19.95
Printed to order in the USA · Flat US$4.95 US shipping, free over US$65.00

Retro farmer chicken with apron - Red and white stacked text reading Super Sexy Chicken Lady flanked by two white
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Retro Farmer Chicken with Apron Features Bold Red is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
retro farmer chicken with apron puts the phrase I NEVER DREAMED, I'D GROW UP TO BE A Super Sexy CHICKEN LADY BUT HERE I AM, KILLING IT across the front panel. The words read as a sarcastic acceptance of a specific hobby identity. Wearing it signals pride in raising fowl without taking oneself too seriously, and hen owners or egg sellers recognize this exact tone immediately.
This retro farmer chicken with apron arranges its message in a strictly vertical stack using only red and white ink. Two white chicken silhouettes face each other, framing the cursive red words Super Sexy in the middle of the composition. Below these birds, the words CHICKEN LADY appear in large, blocky red letters that dominate the lower visual field. The top and bottom lines of text return to white block lettering to bookend the design. This arrangement creates a unified graphic statement that belongs to the world of backyard poultry keeping and self-deprecating rural humor.
Hen owners and fowl breeders notice the specific phrasing that celebrates their niche occupation with wit. This retro farmer chicken with apron functions as an ideal gift from fathers or brothers to daughters, sisters, or girlfriends who raise chickens. Everyday situations include wearing it while collecting eggs, cleaning coops, or working at a farm stand selling produce to kids and toddlers. The design connects the wearer to a community of enthusiasts who appreciate the absurdity of being called a chicken lady.
Do the waist ties fit over larger clothing? Yes, the waist ties measure 42 inches on each side, which is long enough to tie securely in front even over bulky layers. This generous length ensures the apron stays in place during active use without digging into the waist or slipping loose.
Will the printed text survive repeated washing? The red and white print is designed to withstand laundering because the ink bonds permanently to the fabric surface. Users can wash the item regularly without worrying about the bold lettering fading or peeling away from the material.
Does the design show any actual bird illustrations? No, the artwork uses only two white silhouettes to represent the birds alongside the text. The visual impact comes entirely from the typography and the negative space created by the chicken shapes flanking the central words.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
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