
Flock Chicken
US$19.95
Printed to order in the USA · Flat US$4.95 US shipping, free over US$65.00

Vintage chicken with apron - Two white chickens flanking stacked text I Never Dreamed I'd Grow Up Super Sexy Chicken
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Vintage Chicken is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
vintage chicken with apron puts the phrase 'I NEVER DREAMED I'D GROW UP to be a Super Sexy CHICKEN LADY but here I am KILLING IT' across the front panel, and the stacked typography reads as a sarcastic celebration of an unexpected career path. Wearing it does this for the person by signaling unapologetic pride in farm life, and poultry keepers and backyard farmers feel it was made for them because it validates their daily reality with wit.
This typography-only artwork stacks white lettering vertically against the black fabric to create a bold visual statement. Two stylized chickens flank the central words 'Super Sexy', their bodies rendered in white with distinct red accents on their combs. Ribbon banners containing small flower icons frame the top and bottom of the text block, adding a decorative touch to the layout. The phrase 'KILLING IT' anchors the design at the bottom in bold red letters, emphasizing the sarcastic punchline. This composition places the model of a dedicated chicken keeper directly onto the wearer's chest.
This vintage chicken with apron fits best for backyard chicken owners and small-scale farmers who find humor in their daily routine. It serves as an ideal gift for birthdays, Christmas, or Thanksgiving for anyone passionate about poultry keeping. The garment is practical for wearing during coop cleaning, feed mixing, or egg collection when a bit of attitude is required.
Does the neck strap adjust to different body sizes? Yes, the neck strap is adjustable between 20 and 30 inches to accommodate various builds. This generous cut ensures the bib covers the torso effectively for most adults without restricting movement while working in the yard. Will the printed text withstand repeated washing cycles? Yes, the ink is designed to resist fading and cracking through standard laundering. The white and red pigments bond with the black fabric to maintain clarity even after frequent exposure to water and detergent. Why are there two chickens instead of one in the artwork? The visual balance requires two white chickens to flank the central script text symmetrically. This specific arrangement creates a framed effect around the 'Super Sexy' lettering that a single bird could not achieve.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
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