Writer
Attempted Literary Apron Features ATTEMPTED MURDER
Attempted literary apron - ATTEMPTED MURDER text above two white crow silhouettes on a branch
US$19.95
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
1
US$19.95
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Attempted Literary Apron Features ATTEMPTED MURDER is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
attempted literary apron puts ATTEMPTED MURDER across the front panel, where two crows on a branch visually punchline the phrase. The design reads as a dark pun referencing Edgar Allan Poe’s raven and ornithology rather than violence. Wearing it signals a love for gothic literature and wordplay to fellow book lovers. Readers who appreciate Poe or short stories will recognize this specific clever reference immediately.
Reading The Design
The artwork centers on stacked white typography paired with grunge-textured bird silhouettes resting on a single branch. This layout relies entirely on lettering and negative space without any background patterns or additional colors. The visual arrangement mimics classic Gothic imagery associated with Poe's work, grounding the text in a specific aesthetic tradition. The text sits directly below the avian figures to complete the double meaning of the phrase effectively.
When People Wear It
This product targets writers and literary critics who enjoy dark humor and gothic aesthetics. Gifting this attempted literary apron works perfectly for fans of ornithology or those who appreciate Poe literature. It is worn in study sessions, book clubs, or kitchens to signal shared intellectual interests and appreciation for literary wordplay.
Common Questions
What is the neck strap length? The adjustable neck strap measures between 20 and 30 inches to accommodate different heights. This range ensures the black bib apron fits most adults comfortably while maintaining a generous cut for movement during use.
How does the ink hold up to washing? The printed design withstands standard laundering because the ink bonds deeply with the fabric surface. This durability ensures the white text and bird shapes remain distinct after repeated washes without fading or peeling.
Why is this specific design unique to this product? Unlike generic kitchen wear, this item combines a culinary tool with a specific literary joke about crows and murder. The unique intersection of cooking utility and Poe-inspired wordplay makes it distinct from standard apparel available elsewhere.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
Questions about Writer aprons
- Who is this collection best suited for?
- This collection is designed for writers of all types, including novelists, poets, journalists, and editors. It suits professionals who take pride in their craft and want to display their literary identity through wearable art that reflects their specific genre or role.
- What designs are included in this set?
- The set features diverse themes like the typewriter author apron, write sarcastic apron, and edgar ravens apron. Other options include the book publisher apron, fact writer apron, poet badass apron, future selling apron, and author wife apron, covering various aspects of the writing profession.
- How do I choose the right design?
- Select based on your primary writing style or favorite literary reference. Choose the typewriter author apron for classic vibes, or the write sarcastic apron for modern wit. Consider if you prefer poetry, journalism, or publishing themes when picking your preferred aesthetic from the available options.
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