

Poetry Gothic Apron Featuring a Crow Pun
Poetry gothic apron - White crows on branches under text Conspiracy Attempted Murder Murder
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Poetry Gothic Apron Featuring a Crow Pun is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
poetry gothic apron displays the printed words CONSPIRACY, ATTEMPTED MURDER, and MURDER in white text above crows to explain the pun that a group of three birds is called a murder. Wearing this puts literary wit across the front panel, and readers who appreciate Edgar Allan Poe or wordplay feel it was made for them.
Reading The Design
A minimalist white graphic organizes three distinct sections of crows stacked vertically on the front panel. The top section shows a single crow on a branch beneath the underlined word CONSPIRACY, representing the idea that one bird is insufficient for a gathering. Below this, two crows sit on a twig under the label ATTEMPTED MURDER, illustrating that a pair is close but not quite a full group. The bottom section features three crows perched together beneath the word MURDER, confirming that this specific number completes the collective noun definition. The stark white ink contrasts sharply with the background to highlight these biological definitions in a gothic style.
When People Wear It
Gothic literature fans and poetry enthusiasts notice the clever wordplay involving crow terminology first. This poetry gothic apron makes an ideal gift for anyone who loves short stories or the works of Edgar Allan Poe. It gets worn in everyday kitchen situations where the wearer wants to express a love for dark humor and linguistic trivia while preparing meals.
Common Questions
What are the waist tie measurements for fit? The apron features 42-inch waist ties on each side, providing enough length to tie securely in front for various body sizes. This specific measurement ensures the garment stays fastened comfortably during movement without slipping, accommodating different torso lengths while maintaining the standard 28 by 34 inch panel dimensions.
How does the ink hold up to cleaning? The white print remains distinct after washing because the minimalist style uses solid shapes rather than fine gradients that fade easily. This durability allows the design to survive repeated cycles while keeping the stark contrast between the crows and the background visible for long-term use.
Why does the design feature exactly three sections? The layout corresponds directly to the definition of a crow gathering, where one bird is merely a conspiracy and two is an attempted murder. Only when three crows appear together does the term murder apply, making the count essential to the joke's logic.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
Questions about Crow aprons
- Who is the ideal buyer for these crow-themed designs?
- This collection suits gothic enthusiasts, Halloween party-goers, and fans of vaporwave or retro gaming aesthetics. It is made for anyone who appreciates dark humor, symbolic animal imagery, and vintage pop culture references expressed through smart, everyday wear.
- What types of crow designs are included here?
- The assortment features diverse styles including a flying crow, a cawing crow, and thematic variants like vaporwave and poetry gothic interpretations. There are also crossover designs involving skulls and gaming elements, offering variety beyond standard bird illustrations.
- How do I choose the right design for my style?
- Select based on your preferred aesthetic. Choose the vaporwave option for neon vibes, the skull design for gaming nostalgia, or the simple crow bird apron for classic elegance. Consider whether you prefer static images or action-oriented graphics like the flying crow.
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