

Attempted Funny Crow Apron Features Two Black Silhouettes
Attempted funny crow apron - Two black crow silhouettes facing each other above ATTEMPTED MURDER text
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Attempted Funny Crow Apron Features Two Black Silhouettes is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
The exact phrase "attempted funny crow apron" introduces a design featuring two black crow silhouettes facing each other above the text "ATTEMPTED MURDER". This reads as a pun on the collective noun for crows, implying they failed to form a proper group. Wearing it signals a love for dark wordplay and clever avian humor. Bird enthusiasts and goth-leaning cooks who appreciate minimalist aesthetics will find this specific product tailored to their wit.
The Print, Up Close
Two solid black crow silhouettes stand side-by-side on the front panel, oriented inward so their beaks point toward one central space. Below these figures sits a single horizontal row of bold, black lettering that spells out ATTEMPTED MURDER in all capital letters. The composition uses a minimalist art style that strips away feathers and facial details to present only the essential outline of the birds. This arrangement visually represents a failed gathering, reinforcing the joke that a true murder requires more participants than just these two individuals. The entire graphic remains strictly monochromatic, utilizing only black ink against the neutral background to maintain a serious yet humorous tone.
Made For This Crowd
Home chefs and birdwatchers notice the clever twist on animal terminology immediately upon seeing the design. This attempted funny crow apron makes a perfect gift for someone who enjoys Gothic aesthetics or dry, intellectual jokes about nature. It gets worn in busy kitchens where the wearer wants to express a sophisticated sense of humor without relying on bright colors or loud graphics.
Before You Add To Cart
Does the 8 x 7 inch split pocket hold heavy items? Yes, the two front pockets measure 8 by 7 inches each and are split down the center to create dual compartments. This specific dimension provides ample surface area for holding phones, towels, or utensils securely while the 10 oz cotton canvas maintains its shape under weight.
Will the black ink survive repeated washing cycles? The print durability relies on the quality of the application process used during manufacturing. Standard care instructions typically recommend turning the garment inside out and washing with cold water to preserve the sharp edges of the black silhouettes and prevent fading over time.
Why does this design specifically reference crows rather than other birds? The answer lies in the unique cultural definition of a crow gathering, which is historically called a murder. Unlike other flock names such as a gaggle of geese or a school of fish, the crow term has inherent dramatic weight that allows the modifier attempted to function as a valid linguistic joke.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
Questions about Crow aprons
- Who is the ideal buyer for these crow-themed designs?
- This collection suits gothic enthusiasts, Halloween party-goers, and fans of vaporwave or retro gaming aesthetics. It is made for anyone who appreciates dark humor, symbolic animal imagery, and vintage pop culture references expressed through smart, everyday wear.
- What types of crow designs are included here?
- The assortment features diverse styles including a flying crow, a cawing crow, and thematic variants like vaporwave and poetry gothic interpretations. There are also crossover designs involving skulls and gaming elements, offering variety beyond standard bird illustrations.
- How do I choose the right design for my style?
- Select based on your preferred aesthetic. Choose the vaporwave option for neon vibes, the skull design for gaming nostalgia, or the simple crow bird apron for classic elegance. Consider whether you prefer static images or action-oriented graphics like the flying crow.
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