Attempted Murder Bird Apron Featuring Two Realistic Crows

The phrase ATTEMPTED MURDER sits below two crows in this design. The print depicts realistic black birds with red accents standing on grass patches, while the text reads as a sarcastic nod to Edgar Allan Poe's term for a flock of corvids. Wearing it signals that you appreciate dark humor and gothic literature, making it perfect for writers and editors who understand the reference.

The Artwork Explained

This design features two crows rendered in a realistic style using black, grey, and red ink. One crow stands with its beak open in a call, while the other stands calmly behind it. Both birds are positioned on small patches of grass. Below them, the words ATTEMPTED MURDER appear in a subtle grey tone. This layout combines the visual weight of the birds with the literary pun to create a cohesive image of gothic sarcasm.

Kitchens It Belongs In

This apron belongs in kitchens where literary discussion is common or where cooking requires a sense of dark humor. It serves as a conversation starter for gifting to book lovers, poetry critics, or anyone who enjoys the macabre side of language. The product functions well during long prep times when the wearer wants to express their appreciation for classic horror and wordplay without speaking.

What Buyers Ask

What are the pocket dimensions and how do they fit? Each front pocket measures 8 by 7 inches and is split in the middle to accommodate hands or tools. This specific sizing ensures that large utensils or towels can be stored securely without the fabric pulling awkwardly against the waistline during active use.

Does the grey ink resist fading during washing? Yes, the print holds up because the canvas stiffens initially but softens after two or three washes. This fabric treatment protects the subtle grey lettering from abrasion, ensuring the text remains legible and the colors stay true through repeated laundering cycles.

Why is this design unique compared to standard bird apparel? It specifically references the collective noun for crows rather than just depicting a generic animal. The sarcasm of the phrase combined with the realistic art style targets a niche audience of readers and writers, distinguishing it from generic nature prints found elsewhere.