Crow Raven
Attempted Ravens Apron - Vintage Distressed Graphic
Attempted ravens apron - Two black ravens in front of teal trees under red orange yellow stripes with text
US$19.95
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
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US$19.95
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Attempted Ravens Apron - Vintage Distressed Graphic is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
The exact phrase "attempted ravens apron" introduces a design featuring the words ATTEMPTED MURDER above and below a sunset graphic. The pun relies on the collective noun for crows, meaning two birds represent an incomplete gathering. Wearing it signals appreciation for dark wordplay, and bird watchers or literary fans feel it was made for them.
The Graphic, Piece By Piece
Distressed beige lettering spells ATTEMPTED at the top and MURDER at the bottom of the central panel. Between these lines sits a rectangular graphic containing horizontal stripes in red, orange, and yellow that suggest a sunset. Below the colors, teal trees form a forest background behind two black ravens standing in the foreground. The entire composition uses a distressed style to mimic vintage wear. This layout connects the biological term for a crow group with a visual representation of just two birds.
Days You Would Grab It
Bird enthusiasts and lovers of Edgar Allan Poe humor notice the specific reference to a murder of crows first. Gifting this item works well for birthdays or holidays for anyone who enjoys spooky puns. It is practical for everyday cooking tasks where a bit of wit is needed in the kitchen.
Before Buying
Does this apron have storage space? Yes, it includes two front pockets measuring 8 by 7 inches each, which are split in the middle to allow access from either side. This specific construction detail provides ample room for holding utensils or towels without adding bulk to the waist area during food preparation.
Will the print stay intact after cleaning? The ink is designed to endure washing because the fabric is 10 oz cotton canvas that stiffens initially but softens after two or three washes. The durability of the heavy weave ensures that the distressed aesthetic remains consistent even after repeated laundering cycles in a home kitchen.
Why does the design show only two birds? The image depicts exactly two ravens to visually represent the word attempted, implying a murder requires more members than what is currently shown. This specific count is necessary to execute the joke correctly, as a full gathering would defeat the premise of the pun entirely.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
Questions about Crow Raven aprons
- Who enjoys the crow meme apron most?
- People who love internet culture and dark humor appreciate this design. It resonates with those who understand the viral jokes surrounding crows and their clever behaviors. Fans of witty, modern commentary on social media often select this piece for its relatable and humorous nod to online trends and bird intelligence.
- What makes the raven halloween apron unique?
- This design specifically targets Halloween celebrations by featuring iconic raven imagery associated with the spooky season. It appeals to those who enjoy festive attire that nods to classic horror tropes without being overly scary. The theme fits perfectly for autumn events, parties, or anyone wanting to takes in the magical and mysterious atmosphere of October.
- How does the murder bird apron differ from others?
- The murder bird apron plays on the collective noun for crows, offering a clever wordplay twist. It suits birdwatchers and language enthusiasts who appreciate ornithological facts presented in a smart format. Unlike purely decorative options, this design adds an educational layer to your kitchen attire, sparking conversations about avian social structures.
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