

Attempted Crow Lover Apron Featuring ATTEMPTED MURDER Text
Attempted crow lover apron - Two black crows on a branch above ATTEMPTED MURDER text
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Attempted Crow Lover Apron Featuring ATTEMPTED MURDER Text is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
attempted crow lover apron puts the phrase ATTEMPTED MURDER across the front panel, and the words read as a pun on the collective noun for crows. Two black birds sit on a branch above the text, referencing their notorious reputation in folklore. Wearing it shields your clothes from kitchen spills while displaying a clever play on ornithology terms. Bird watchers and science lovers feel this design speaks directly to their specific interest in avian life.
The Graphic, Piece By Piece
Two crows sit side-by-side on a horizontal branch rendered in black and dark grey cartoon style. The text ATTEMPTED MURDER appears in a single line centered directly below the wood. The layout uses only these specific colors to create high contrast against the background. This imagery belongs to the category of ornithology-based humor that relies on biological facts. The composition balances the weight of the birds with the boldness of the typography.
Days You Would Grab It
Cooking enthusiasts notice the pun on crow terminology before the artwork itself. Gifting this to an ornithologist acknowledges their specific hobby with inside knowledge. The apron gets worn during meal prep when you want to express a dark sense of humor about nature. It functions as a shield against splatters while signaling your appreciation for bird-related wordplay.
Before Buying
What are the exact measurements of the waist ties and body size? The waist ties measure 42 inches on each side to allow for ample tying room in front, while the body size is 28 inches wide by 34 inches long to provide substantial coverage over your torso during messy cooking tasks.
Can you wash this apron without damaging the printed image? The ink is durable enough to withstand standard washing cycles, ensuring that the cartoon crows and text remain sharp and distinct after repeated cleaning without fading or peeling away from the fabric surface.
Why does this specific design use a pun rather than a direct statement? The phrase ATTEMPTED MURDER references the collective noun for a group of crows, turning a biological fact into a joke about their intelligence and mischief. This clever wordplay appeals specifically to those who appreciate ornithological trivia disguised as dark comedy.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
Questions about Crow aprons
- Who is the ideal buyer for these crow-themed designs?
- This collection suits gothic enthusiasts, Halloween party-goers, and fans of vaporwave or retro gaming aesthetics. It is made for anyone who appreciates dark humor, symbolic animal imagery, and vintage pop culture references expressed through smart, everyday wear.
- What types of crow designs are included here?
- The assortment features diverse styles including a flying crow, a cawing crow, and thematic variants like vaporwave and poetry gothic interpretations. There are also crossover designs involving skulls and gaming elements, offering variety beyond standard bird illustrations.
- How do I choose the right design for my style?
- Select based on your preferred aesthetic. Choose the vaporwave option for neon vibes, the skull design for gaming nostalgia, or the simple crow bird apron for classic elegance. Consider whether you prefer static images or action-oriented graphics like the flying crow.
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