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Printed to order in the USA · Flat US$4.95 US shipping, free over US$65.00

Attempted crow lover apron - Two black crows on a branch above ATTEMPTED MURDER text — shown on a black cotton canvas apron against a white background
Crow

Attempted Crow Lover Apron Featuring ATTEMPTED MURDER Text

Attempted crow lover apron - Two black crows on a branch above ATTEMPTED MURDER text

US$19.95

Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.

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US$19.95

Delivery to United States

Arrives

Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.

Returns

Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.

Printed to order

Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.

Attempted Crow Lover Apron Featuring ATTEMPTED MURDER Text is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.

attempted crow lover apron puts the phrase ATTEMPTED MURDER across the front panel, and the words read as a pun on the collective noun for crows. Two black birds sit on a branch above the text, referencing their notorious reputation in folklore. Wearing it shields your clothes from kitchen spills while displaying a clever play on ornithology terms. Bird watchers and science lovers feel this design speaks directly to their specific interest in avian life.

The Graphic, Piece By Piece

Two crows sit side-by-side on a horizontal branch rendered in black and dark grey cartoon style. The text ATTEMPTED MURDER appears in a single line centered directly below the wood. The layout uses only these specific colors to create high contrast against the background. This imagery belongs to the category of ornithology-based humor that relies on biological facts. The composition balances the weight of the birds with the boldness of the typography.

Days You Would Grab It

Cooking enthusiasts notice the pun on crow terminology before the artwork itself. Gifting this to an ornithologist acknowledges their specific hobby with inside knowledge. The apron gets worn during meal prep when you want to express a dark sense of humor about nature. It functions as a shield against splatters while signaling your appreciation for bird-related wordplay.

Before Buying

What are the exact measurements of the waist ties and body size? The waist ties measure 42 inches on each side to allow for ample tying room in front, while the body size is 28 inches wide by 34 inches long to provide substantial coverage over your torso during messy cooking tasks.

Can you wash this apron without damaging the printed image? The ink is durable enough to withstand standard washing cycles, ensuring that the cartoon crows and text remain sharp and distinct after repeated cleaning without fading or peeling away from the fabric surface.

Why does this specific design use a pun rather than a direct statement? The phrase ATTEMPTED MURDER references the collective noun for a group of crows, turning a biological fact into a joke about their intelligence and mischief. This clever wordplay appeals specifically to those who appreciate ornithological trivia disguised as dark comedy.

Questions about Crow aprons

Who is the ideal buyer for these crow-themed designs?
This collection suits gothic enthusiasts, Halloween party-goers, and fans of vaporwave or retro gaming aesthetics. It is made for anyone who appreciates dark humor, symbolic animal imagery, and vintage pop culture references expressed through smart, everyday wear.
What types of crow designs are included here?
The assortment features diverse styles including a flying crow, a cawing crow, and thematic variants like vaporwave and poetry gothic interpretations. There are also crossover designs involving skulls and gaming elements, offering variety beyond standard bird illustrations.
How do I choose the right design for my style?
Select based on your preferred aesthetic. Choose the vaporwave option for neon vibes, the skull design for gaming nostalgia, or the simple crow bird apron for classic elegance. Consider whether you prefer static images or action-oriented graphics like the flying crow.

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