

Attempted Crow Mom Apron on a Bench
Attempted crow mom apron - White text attempted murder above two white crows sitting on a bench
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Attempted Crow Mom Apron on a Bench is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
The phrase 'attempted murder' puts the words 'attempted murder.' across the top of the front panel, and the text reads as a dark pun on the collective name for crows. Wearing it signals you appreciate ornithology-based sarcasm, and bird lovers feel it was made for them.
Looking At The Front Panel
The centered white text anchors the design at the top of the black bib apron, establishing the sarcastic tone immediately. Below the lettering, two white birds sit side-by-side on a bench, rendered in a minimalist style that uses only solid shapes. The layout relies entirely on the color white to create contrast against the dark fabric, avoiding any extra patterns or textures. This grouping belongs to the study of crows, where the term describes their flock rather than violence. The combination of stark typography and simple silhouettes creates a cohesive image that is both funny and visually clean.
Who Gets The Joke
Bird watchers and cooking enthusiasts notice the ornithology reference first before seeing the kitchen utility. This attempt crow mom apron makes a perfect gift for Mother's Day or birthdays for someone who loves sarcasm. It gets worn during messy meal prep when a dry sense of humor is appreciated by family and friends. The design bridges the gap between hobby interest and daily household tasks effectively.
Answers Up Front
Does the strap fit different body sizes? Yes, the adjustable neck strap measures 20 to 30 inches to accommodate various builds. This range ensures the black bib apron hangs correctly without being too tight or too loose for most adults wearing a generous cut.
Will the white print fade after washing? The white ink remains distinct because it adheres firmly to the black bib apron surface. Standard cleaning methods preserve the sharp edges of the minimalist design without causing the white color to bleed or dull significantly.
Why does this design differ from other bird aprons? The phrase specifically references the collective noun for crows rather than depicting a general nature scene. This distinction makes it a unique inside joke for ornithology fans who understand the specific terminology associated with these birds.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
Questions about Crow aprons
- Who is the ideal buyer for these crow-themed designs?
- This collection suits gothic enthusiasts, Halloween party-goers, and fans of vaporwave or retro gaming aesthetics. It is made for anyone who appreciates dark humor, symbolic animal imagery, and vintage pop culture references expressed through smart, everyday wear.
- What types of crow designs are included here?
- The assortment features diverse styles including a flying crow, a cawing crow, and thematic variants like vaporwave and poetry gothic interpretations. There are also crossover designs involving skulls and gaming elements, offering variety beyond standard bird illustrations.
- How do I choose the right design for my style?
- Select based on your preferred aesthetic. Choose the vaporwave option for neon vibes, the skull design for gaming nostalgia, or the simple crow bird apron for classic elegance. Consider whether you prefer static images or action-oriented graphics like the flying crow.
You might also like
More crow
- attempted bird apron
- attempted funny crow apron
- attempted crow lover apron
- attempted halloween apron
- attempted murder ravens apron
- pun ravens apron
- murder ravens apron
- attempted murder bird apron






