Pagan
Murder Ravens Apron Features an Attempted Murder Pun
Murder ravens apron - White distressed two crows and striped moon with attempted murder text
US$19.95
Flat US$4.95 US shipping · free over US$65.00 · sales tax is calculated from your shipping address at checkout.
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US$19.95
Delivery to United States
Arrives —
Orders ship within the United States only. Flat US$4.95 shipping under US$65.00 — free from US$65.00.
Returns
Request a return or exchange within 30 days of purchase, for any reason — we cover return shipping.
Printed to order
Every apron is printed after you order it. Please allow 1-3 business days for processing before it leaves the print shop.
Murder Ravens Apron Features an Attempted Murder Pun is printed on a black canvas apron — one size, made to order and shipped within the United States.
murder ravens apron displays 'ATTEMPTED MURDER' in a circle around two crows and a moon. The pun relies on the collective noun for crows being a murder, implying the birds are trying to become one. Wearing it signals a love for dark humor and occult aesthetics, and people who enjoy spooky wordplay feel this was made for them.
Every Detail On The Front
The central image features two crows positioned in front of a moon that has horizontal lines across its surface. White distressed lettering forms a circle around this scene with the words ATTEMPTED MURDER arching over and under the birds. This layout creates a cohesive emblem rather than separate text and illustration elements. The retro style matches the aesthetic of vintage occult posters often found in pagan communities.
Built For These Hands
Culinary workers and crafters notice the pun immediately when putting on this product. It serves as a conversation starter at Halloween parties or among Wiccan and pagan enthusiasts. The sturdy construction handles messy kitchen tasks while the pockets keep essential tools within reach during long work sessions.
Practical Questions
Does the 8 x 7 inch split pocket fit standard tools? Yes, the 8 by 7 inch pockets accommodate most standard utensils because they are split in the middle. This structural detail prevents the fabric from bunching up when you place your hands inside, ensuring the heavy 10 oz cotton canvas hangs flat against your legs rather than pulling outward.
Will the distressed ink survive repeated washing cycles? The print holds up well because the distressed texture mimics natural wear on the fabric surface. Since the white ink sits atop the coarse weave of the 10 oz cotton canvas, it blends with the material's roughness, making individual flakes less noticeable after laundering compared to smooth solid prints.
Why is the specific term 'Attempted Murder' used instead of just 'Murder'? The design uses 'Attempted Murder' because two birds cannot officially constitute a murder, which is the required term for a crow flock. A true murder requires a significantly larger gathering, so the artwork accurately depicts a failed attempt at forming a flock through visual representation rather than just stating the collective noun.
Every apron is printed after you order it. Orders are processed Monday through Friday, excluding federal holidays — please allow 1-3 business days for order processing. After processing, shipping typically takes 3-7 business days inside the United States, so the total delivery time from order placement is 4-10 business days.
US orders under US$65.00 pay a flat US$4.95 shipping; orders of US$65.00 or more ship free. Bearhap ships within the United States only — we do not ship to international addresses.
You may request a return or exchange within 30 days of the purchase date, for any reason. The apron must be unopened, unused and in its original packaging, with proof of purchase. We refund the item price in full to the original payment method — the original US$4.95 shipping fee is not refundable — and Bearhap covers all return shipping costs: email contact@bearhap.com for a free return label.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colours. Tumble dry low or hang to dry. Do not iron directly over the print — press from the back if you need to. No bleach, no dry cleaning.
The ink is water-based and cures into the fabric, so it will soften with the canvas rather than peel off it.
Questions about Pagan aprons
- Who is this collection designed for?
- These designs cater to modern pagans who integrate ritual into daily life. They suit individuals who appreciate symbolic art representing deities like Hecate or natural elements such as the Ash tree. The imagery resonates with those seeking to honor earth-based spirituality while engaging in creative hobbies or household tasks.
- What specific symbols are featured here?
- We include the triple moon motif, the Ash World Tree, Odin’s ravens, and Hecate’s keys. Each design connects to Norse mythology or general witchcraft traditions. These symbols offer a visual language for practitioners to express their beliefs about nature, wisdom, and the interconnectedness of all living things through wearable art.
- How do I choose the right design?
- Select based on your primary deity or philosophical focus. Those drawn to Norse myths may prefer the raven or ash tree motifs. If you resonate with Greek influences, the Hecate design aligns best. Consider which symbol feels most personally significant to your practice when deciding which apron complements your spiritual journey effectively.
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